Oriahtundra Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 The Guys' Rules------also known as MANLAW At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear"the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! *********************************************** 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or Golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendes Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 That's great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendie Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 *snorts* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raeda Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 *giggles* That's awesome, good find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amahli Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 *snickers* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadeynn Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maube Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 My big beef with the toilet seat thing... is I am farking 9 months pregnant - I pee 5 times a night... and it is REALLY hard to get my fat arse OUT of the bowl when I plunge in at 2am. Just put down the lid then we both have to work when we gotta go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoach Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I don't like watching sports. Rather play em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eisaac Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I don't like watching sports. Rather play em OK. But that's only one law. I think it was rule #1, I just don't remember. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadeynn Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 (edited) 10 Things Men know about Women 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have BOOBS Edited April 9, 2007 by Jadeynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corellon Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Did you notice that the first 6 responses where from females?!! hmmmmm?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadeynn Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Did you notice that the first 6 responses where from females?!! hmmmmm?! What's your point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maube Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 We have the patience to read your silly rules? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadeynn Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 We have the patience to read your silly rules? ROFLMAO NO kidding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonac Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 (edited) Sould I consider myself Lucky or Unlucky that non of thoes rules apply to me? Of course.. I'm sure they don't apply to me Edited April 10, 2007 by Tonac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natobah Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 you notice how it was all the girls that read and giggled at teh list, kinda like they understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendes Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 tee hee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baracko Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 We have the patience to read your silly rules? So? Whats your point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oriahtundra Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 you notice how it was all the girls that read and giggled at teh list, kinda like they understand. Yeah though to my knowledge all the women in the family are happily settled down with a lucky man. Sent this to my mom she said its entirely too much like me and i should bring these to first dates(as a joke) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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