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How to call in sick


Lord Ser Brightblade

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How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off

It's a time honored tradition to call in sick to score a day off now and again. More than one of us has been caught with rookie mistakes though. Follow these instructions and you'll be lounging on the couch with no problems.

Steps

1. Find a quiet place for the phone call.

2. Call your boss.

3. Keep the excuse short and to the point. See below for examples.

4. Get off the phone as quickly as possible.

Tips

* If you can, call your boss's voice mail rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.

* When making the phone call, if you can do it early in the morning, when your voice is still rough with sleep, that will give added credibility.

* For an added effect, bend over your toilet while pressing your forearm into your stomach so you begin to sound like your stomach is really being affected by whatever you are calling about. (Usually this would make you sound like you just finished vomiting.)

* If you're outside the house, calling from your car might be the quietest place you can manage.

* It's a good idea to mention in passing how you are feeling better or your car is all fixed when you return to work.

* Keep an eye out for other people who have been sick at work and use the 'I must have gotten it from ...' excuse.

Warnings

* It's important that your boss think you are sick in your bed. Blaring music or a loud TV can destroy that image as thoroughly as thousands of screaming fans at a football game.

* Long rambling messages are to be avoided. When lying, you are tempted to embellish. Don't. When calling in sick, less is more. The old standbys of food poisoning, flu, cold, all work because we've all been through them.

* Calling in sick without being sick is best done for one day (or possibly two days in a row). Longer than that may require a note from your doctor.

* Don't come back to work the next day with a suntan, pictures, stories, etc. If you share what you have done with your coworkers, they may turn on you and tell your boss. Worse, they may steal all of your good excuses.

* Be careful with car excuses unless you are willing to stay at home, since if someone from work sees you in town then you are busted.

* Do NOT use an excuse about someone in your family dying because the boss can find out for sure and you will be caught in a lie. This will make you less credible to your boss when someone really does die.

* Do not use a family member that is still alive. You might have to go to their funeral next week, or find yourself talking about an amazing party that the so called deceased is giving this weekend.

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Here's another picture from halloween.... I was on a cruise to Jamaica at the time. here's a pic of when we got off the boat in jamaica... I should have cropped out my ex, but oh well!

seas.JPG

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